It looks light gray and rainy and I smell rain in the air, but I know better.

It was not so long ago when I was learning about not skidding a 550-lb, 108-horsepower gorilla of a motorcycle. Blown dust and leaves and faded red 1982 paint, the smell of gasoline in the morning, filling up at the pump for less than ten dollars. The harsh shout of a 4-2 exhaust. Old suspension springs bottoming out over railroad tracks. A chest full of 70 mph air, and research online to see what windshields were about. Agonizing whether I had enough money to afford a proper full coverage shield. Evil, frosty bleary mornings shivering under my jacket, mind over matter and destination over journey spurring me on. All that stuff. It was a long time ago, and the crisp edges of the new experience and New Way to See the World have worn down to smooth blue grooves of daily routine. It gets so nowadays that I can't remember the last time I was thinking about the line I took through the last curve, or what gear I was in, or what intersection was the most dangerous, I just sort of ride and think to myself about whatever problems I think about and before I know it I am home, or somewhere else, and that is that.

It's fall. I should go ride somewhere just to breathe in fall-ness.

"Not by bread alone is man saved but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God."

Belief: the sure knowledge that something is true; be it by proof or by trusted testimony.  Belief may not be caused by sensible things alone, nor may it be caused by an abstract idea alone.  Both must be involved for the soul and the body believe, for knowledge to be had.  And of these, of the soul and body, the soul has primacy for its motion is closest to God.  Hence the primacy of the Word in the causation of belief.  Yet this is not to discount the necessity of the sensible, hence the necessity of signs, in the history of God's people; sacrifice, sacraments, without which signs belief may not be had.

Good morning America, it's another beautiful day in California, and as long as there is the potential for rain, there is hope....

"Hey.  You know you should never post when under the influence, tired, and bitter.  But you ignore me every time I talk to you so go ahead, knock yourself out.  The day you learn to restrain yourself will be the day you begin to evolve, and that day I await with great anticipation."

"Oh, bitter, are we? Oh, tired are we? You're damn funny."

"Stop talking to yourself."

"I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to you."

"Stop talking to yourself."

"You're evolved."

"You're #@*#$."

(Evolution is the new existentialism, in case anyone was wondering.  Next it'll be socialism, and after that I'll make something up to use as a new swear word)

"I don't think I understand what he's talking about. I see his mouth moving and all that's coming out is blah, blah blah blah."

Faith is said to evolve

but evolution may be of two kinds for the motion of logic is either circular or linear

the first is an infinite progress which is a travel from lesser to greater along an infinite line, which is a reductio ad absurdum since the only infinite motion possible is on a circle, and motion on a circle may hardly be considered progress.  Motion on a continuously created infinite line is also reductio ad absurdum, for it would be coincident with the progress of evolution, thus denying the existence of the line.  This first sort does not resolve, then, to the principle of non-contradiction. (the principle of non-contradiction: that the same being may not both exist and not exist in the same manner, at the same time and in the same respect)

the second is a travel from lesser to greater along a line having an end, which progress presupposes an end which may be reached, thus culminating the evolution at its highest possible degree.  Only this second sort resolves to the principle of non-contradiction and is that which in orthodox thought is called "expression" of faith rather than faith itself.

If faith is a simple being it may not evolve

If faith is a complex being or an attribute it may evolve

rejection of simple faith -> acceptance of evolution of faith -> acceptance of subjectivity of faith (for all evolution exists within the subject) -> crushing of individual subjective expression of faith and acceptance of consensus -> theological slavery to any blind fascist

all this, to escape the theological slavery of objective truth?  And now, more miserable than we were before, we must tread the path of blood and tears, back the way we came, back to find faith where we left it two hundred years ago before Descartes....

if I were the sort to develop crushes on movie stars I would have a crush on Summer Glau, mistress of the creepy poker-face and of the little girl inside just trying to figure out how the world works (while it goes up in flames in her wake). Go watch the Sarah Connor Chronicles and see why. Actually no, huge waste of time, watch Firefly instead. Far creepier in Firefly. 

(Fortunately for all of you I'm not of the sort, otherwise this blog would be much more stupid than it already is.)

(NB: She was homeschooled from third grade through high school.)

it is hot.

I can't sleep.

I ca-a-a-n't sle-e-e-p.

it is ten thirty at night.  There is nothing more I need to do but go to bed (BUT I CAN'T SLEEP).  My coffee-maker is all set up and programmed to start at 7:30 am so I don't have to fumble about in the freezer for coffee-grounds.  The bowls and spoons for breakfast are washed.

The night noises filter in through the open door.  A pickup truck revs its engine, stops and the noise of squealing rubber fills the silence as it takes off down the street.  Some kid getting all excited.  One can hear the occasional yelling from across the street, a child crying.  Boys on skateboards rattling along the sidewalk in the dark, pushing and mocking each other.

Someone's timer goes off next door.

It is quiet.  The screen glows peacefully to itself.  So many things I didn't get done today and that I won't get done tomorrow unless this heat wave breaks and I feel capable of doing something other than sit collapsed in my desk chair all evening...If I was someplace humid I'd be positively dead right now...